*** WHAT TO EXPECT THIS YEAR ***

I’m planning to keep writing as much as I can, but it does take a good chunk of time — usually Sunday night, Monday night, and Tuesday morning. I really enjoy doing it and I love putting something fun out there for the league. What I’m really saying is I’ll probably lean on ChatGPT a bit more this year. Mostly just for stats and quick comparisons, so I can save time without losing the personal touch. I don’t want this to feel generic or cheap, so I’ll still make sure it stays Dubtown League focused.

Also, I’d love feedback. If something feels repetitive, boring, or you want to see more of something else, let me know. Seriously… I do this for you guys, so you won’t hurt my feelings. My goal is to keep things fresh instead of recycling old bits from previous years. But surely that will still happen anyway.

-KB

KICKERS STAY PUT!

New year, same rules! New year, same old Tony. New year, same drawn out speech from Bowman. New year, same sorry mustache from Traynor. What’s actually new though? Not much, but here is what was decided:

Kickers remain on the FF roster.
4 bench spots, 1 IR spot.
12 teams in 1 division and 2 playoffs BYE spots.
$200 buy-in. Low score each week $10 to the pot.
Last place is the golf caddie for the winner of the league. Consolation loser buys beer for next years draft party.

We started Draft Day with a Royal Rumble and Jordan Reyes taking home the belt for first selection of draft position. Tyler Bowman was introduced as Champion of the 2024 Dubtown Fantasy Football season and was awarded a fresh Brock Bowers jersey. Shirts came off and it got hot as picks and takes were flying! A wise man once said (25 times) that you can’t win the league on Draft Day but you sure as shit can lose the league on Draft Day. Who knows? Maybe there is some strategy to this whole thing actually.

Draft Recap

Ja’Marr Chase went first overall, 7 WR’s went in the first round, and Ashton Jeanty was the first rookie off the board this year. QB1 is Lamar Jackson going at the end of Round 2. Running backs were hot in the second as people were trying to get in early and not miss out on the first stringers. Brock Bowers is the first TE to picked at 3.3 and the rest of the top QB’s went in Round 3. Vikings defense in the 9th round for the first D/ST to get a good team with a good coordinator and don’t forget the KICKERS! Brandon Aubrey to Dahdi in the 10th. Could be a game changer!

Sleepers? Of course! But for now they are only long shots and will look awful when that rookie doesn’t see the field or the second year sophomore doesn’t reach his potential. TreVeyon Henderson in Round 4 is a reach! Ladd McConkey in Round 3, can he reproduce? Bo Nix in Round 5, is he going to take it to the next level? Who the fuck is Emeka Egbuka? A third stringer once the Bucs are healthy. Kaleb Johnson? Never heard of her. That’s how you win the league though, as well as ensuring that you don’t drop the rookie too soon since it will take them 4-8 weeks to get up to speed.

Here is what ChatGPT has to say about your team:

Pearsall My Holes

Key Picks: Ja’Marr Chase, Lamar Jackson, Breece Hall, Mark Andrews
Strengths: Elite WR1 in Chase, dual-threat QB in Jackson, solid TE anchor with Andrews
Potential Weaknesses: Depth at RB could be shaky behind Hall and Dobbins
Sleepers: Ricky Pearsall, Deebo Samuel, Brian Robinson Jr. – could provide high upside flex options

For Kyren Out Loud

Key Picks: Saquon Barkley, Tee Higgins, Kenneth Walker III, Patrick Mahomes
Strengths: Strong RB duo with Barkley and Walker, top-tier QB in Mahomes
Potential Weaknesses: WR depth could be inconsistent beyond Higgins and Cooper Kupp
Sleepers: Matthew Golden, Evan Engram – could surprise in flex roles

**B1G C0*K BROCK**

Key Picks: Bijan Robinson, Jalen Hurts, Kyler Murray, Rashee Rice
Strengths: Dual-QB threat with Hurts and Murray, high-upside RB1 in Bijan
Potential Weaknesses: WR depth beyond early picks is mixed; relies on rookies and mid-tier talent
Sleepers: Jordan Mason, Emeka Egbuka – late-round upside could pay off

Spread Eagles

Key Picks: Jahmyr Gibbs, Josh Allen, A.J. Brown, Tyler Warren
Strengths: Strong RB and WR core, top QB in Josh Allen
Potential Weaknesses: TE depth is thin, could rely heavily on matchups
Sleepers: Rhamondre Stevenson, Garrett Wilson – could break out if injuries hit other teams

La Llama Roja

Key Picks: Amon-Ra St. Brown, James Cook, Jerry Jeudy, Justin Herbert
Strengths: Balanced roster with WR studs and reliable RBs
Potential Weaknesses: TE is a potential weak spot if T.J. Hockenson struggles or is injured
Sleepers: TreVeyon Henderson, Khalil Shakir – could emerge as flex starters

Swag Dahdi

Key Picks: Justin Jefferson, Jonathan Taylor, Nick Chubb, Travis Kelce
Strengths: Superstar WR1 in Jefferson, stacked RBs, elite TE in Kelce
Potential Weaknesses: QB may be borderline if Baker Mayfield underperforms
Sleepers: Jaylen Waddle, Braelon Allen – could provide big flex value

The Hammer C0cks

Key Picks: CeeDee Lamb, Chase Brown, Trey McBride, Dak Prescott
Strengths: Elite WR1 in Lamb, solid TE in McBride, RB depth
Potential Weaknesses: QB Prescott is solid but not elite; RB depth beyond Tony Pollard is uncertain
Sleepers: RJ Harvey, Rome Odunze – late-round gems could emerge

I Think I Pulled McCaf

Key Picks: Christian McCaffrey, Puka Nacua, Alvin Kamara, Stefon Diggs
Strengths: Strong RB and WR core, high-ceiling receivers
Potential Weaknesses: QB is mid-tier with Brock Purdy; may need streaming or waiver help
Sleepers: DJ Moore, Tyler Loop – could surprise in high-volume games

Port my Ash

Key Picks: Ashton Jeanty, Bucky Irving, Tyreek Hill, Bo Nix
Strengths: WR star in Hill, upside RBs, solid late-round sleepers
Potential Weaknesses: QB and TE may need waiver pickups; RB1 unproven
Sleepers: Tyrone Tracy Jr., Jauan Jennings – could emerge as key flex contributors

Coach Benji

Key Picks: Malik Nabers, Drake London, George Kittle, Josh Downs
Strengths: TE powerhouse in Kittle, balanced WR corps
Potential Weaknesses: RB depth could be thin behind James Conner and Isiah Pacheco
Sleepers: Rachaad White, Jaxson Dart – upside at RB and QB late in draft

Ken You Dig It?

Key Picks: Brian Thomas Jr., Derrick Henry, Jalen Hurts, DeVonta Smith
Strengths: Strong RB1 in Henry, elite QB in Hurts, solid WR1 and WR2 combo
Potential Weaknesses: Depth could be a concern in mid-round RBs
Sleepers: David Montgomery, Chris Godwin Jr. – potential high-value flex options

The Tax Man

Key Picks: Nico Collins, Josh Jacobs, Mark Andrews, Zay Flowers
Strengths: Balanced roster with strong RBs, elite TE anchor in Andrews
Potential Weaknesses: WR depth outside Zay Flowers and Marvin Harrison Jr. may be inconsistent
Sleepers: Jakobi Meyers, Chase McLaughlin – late-round upside at WR and K

Team Name Rankings

〰️

Team Name Rankings 〰️

12. The Tax Man - Tell me you’re cheap without telling me that you’re cheap.

11. Empty Backfield - Empty is a good word to describe this team and the draft class.

10. Port My Ash - No one knows what it means, but it’s provocative! Get’s the people going!

9. Spread Eagles - It’s starting to get a little bit creepy at this point.

8. Ken You Dig It? - BAH GAWD THAT’S BOOKER T’S MUSIC! Sucka!

7. I Think I Pulled McCaf - That would require physical activity and a gym membership!

6. For Kyren Out Loud - We get it, you have kids and you are starting to have old man sayings now.

5. La Llama Roja - Red flame! This team is on fire! Literally it’s a dumpster fire and the flame ain’t going out anytime soon.

4. B1G C*CK BROCK - I would never name myself after another man’s genitalia, but hey… get in where you fit in, playa.

3. The Hammer C0cks - This guy hangs heavy and slightly to the right. Or is it left with Kamala and the protestors?

2. Swag Dahdi - When you are the Champ, you can call yourself Dahdi without it seeming douchey, I guess.

1. Pearsall My Holes - Alt erotic is a thing and it’s hot in 2025. Just don’t be sharing needles now.

Who He Play For?

Let’s play our favorite game of familiar faces in new places. Do you know Who He Play For?

Baltimore Ravens

Buffalo Bills

Pittsburgh Steelers

Washington Commanders

Overreaction of the Week

Let’s just get this out of the way. Who do I got? Not the Niners. I’m sorry. That shit last year was weak dick, limp bizkit, sorry sister football. Starting with KS not disclosing CMC injury and Aiyuk acting like he had Too Short or E40 type pull in the Bay. Fuck outta here bro, this is Silicon Valley! Don’t get me wrong, I will keep a red flag waving all year like I am Cali Norteño, but I am a gambling man and the Niners being top 5/top 10 +1500 Super Bowl odds is Oscar Meyer bologna. Call me what you want, but I don’t see it, I’m sorry.

Raiders? Nope. Chiefs? Nope. Rams? Nope. Texans? Nope.

Here’s the thing - most teams live on a bell curve - they peak, they ride the prime, and then it’s downhill. Mahomes and Kelce? They’re tipping toward the other side. And it’s a last-call season for the Ravens before they start sliding too. I think that the Bengals were there last year as well, even though they didn’t really ride a prime. But keeping up with excellence and staying consistent is just too hard in the NFL. You gotta win in that three year window that a lot of these teams have.

Again - who do I got?

Eagles are the safe pick, sure. But the Lions check every box—dome team, veteran QB, young talent, a two-headed RB room, and a coach who actually gives a fuck. I love that and it has to happen for America. BUT! Gun to my head… I’m riding with Buffalo. I’ll never not love Josh Allen. The way he runs, the way he creates plays out of nothing—nobody else in the league, maybe in history, does it like that. We’re watching greatness in real time, the way we watched Brady every Sunday and didn’t appreciate that it was never going to happen that way again. Gimmie Buffalo at +750 and I’ll cash it to buy my girl some new Mark Jacobs to wear. Or is it Mark Davis? Which one wrote Huckleberry Finn? I can’t remember anymore

Dark horses and teams who missed the playoffs last year that will make it this year - I like the Falcons in a weak NFC South and I like a couple of the young QBs in the league. Drake Maye with Demario Douglas and Stefon Diggs is going to be fun. Cam Ward seems like a baller with the Titans. I think the AFC West will be a crap shoot this year as well. The Chargers and the Broncos can make some noise and it’s going to come down to the final week for the Chiefs this year. Who knows, maybe the Jets or Browns or Giants can put something together finally and shock the league. We shall see. Good luck.

Week 0