CLEVELAND ROCKS!

Down goes Green Bay! Down goes Dallas! Down goes my panties when I am watching Baker Mayfield play football. In three games, we’ve got three last-minute game-winning drives from Baker Mayfield and the Buccaneers are 3-0 for the first time since 2005. But, the story of the week is Upset City in Cleveland as they Browns finally do something right and score 13 in the final 3:38 of the game to snap an 8-game losing streak dating back to last season. Shelby Harris blocks a field goal with under :30 seconds to play and his 6’10” wingspan is to thank for the upset victory. Justin Herbert to Keenan Allen is a connection as old as Wade Phillips, but the difference is when Justin Herbert is falling down, he is throwing darts and he legs stay in tact. The difference is when Justin Herbert is falling down, he is falling face first between the legs of Madison Beer. Some guys just have it all - and I’m talking about having Ladd McConkey, Quentin Johnston, and Keenan Allen.

Jonathan Taylor hits the trifecta with 3 TDs, Jalen Hurts is finally throwing TD passes, and James Cook starts Week 3 with another big game on TNF and he is your RB #2 still. The Seahawks put 44 on the board against the Saints and the Bears score 31 against the Cowboys defense as Trevon Diggs is unbalanced and slipping over on a reconstructed leg. San Francisco is looking like they got that DAWG in ‘em with Mac Jones leading the way all out of breath, hurt leg, and torn jersey. 49ers win on a walk-off Eddie Piniero field goal in the year of the kicker. BANG BANG.

Jalen Hurts in the last 17 games he has started and finished: 17-0, 3167 passing yards, 737 rushing yards, 43 TDs, and 5 turnovers. AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith have bounce back weeks in FF and credit to the FF owners who kept them in the lineup. The Eagles roll to 3-0. And who said Aaron Rodgers was washed?! Well, I did. And if it weren’t for butter fingers Drake Maye, A Rod would still be picking up TJ Watt’s jock and sniffing it like a drug dog searching for some of that good Sonoma County porcelain.

Aaron Glenn celebrating the Jets blocking a field goal and returning it for a touchdown gives off major Tramell Tillman vibes from that one scene in Severance. You be the judge:

Welcome to the League, Cam Skattebo and Quinshon Judkins. Waiver wire will be hot with running backs this week. FAAB money can be a very big part of the League and it’s a gamble that some teams are going to need to make.

Week 3 BUMMERS

Concern level is high for the FF owners of Malik Nabers, Chase Brown, Cooper Kupp, Nico Collins, Brian Thomas Jr., Brock Bowers, Drake London, Tee Higgins, and more. Ashton Jeanty was hit at or behind the line of scrimmage on 11 of his 17 rushes vs. Washington. Jeanty has now been hit at or behind the line on 57% (27 of 47) of his rush attempts this season.

The Atlanta Falcons did not cross the 30-yard line in the 30-0 loss to the Carolina Panthers. I will just leave that one there…

Nick Bosa has a knee injury, James Conner is out for the year, Tyrone Tracy dusted his shoulder, CeeDee Lamb didn’t return to the game, Najee Harris has a non contact injury to his Achilles, and Mike Evans to have an MRI. Notable Twitter doctor Traynor Flores had this to say regarding Nick Bosa and the 49ers outlook for the rest of the season, “We’re fine”. From God’s lips to your ears, there’s nothing to worry about.

Matchup of the Week

Can you dig it, sucka?! The Raiders and Ken You Dig It? are on a level playing field with one win each! David Montgomery saves the day with a late fourth quarter TD to put Ken up for good. Jalen Hurts is finding his form and yelling at this OC to be more aggressive. JSN and DeVonta Smith with big games to help rack up some much needed WR points. If Derrick Henry can hold onto the football, there may be some hope for this team. An up and down start to the season doesn’t bode well for confidence, but it’s always good to beat the Champ.

WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO! Swag Dahdi can’t finish and he blows his hose a little too early. 33.3 FF points from Jonathan Taylor is a tough week to lose on, but you’d be happy to lose to high point of the week. Out of the three WR on this team, you would not expect Keenan Allen to out juice Justin Jefferson and Mike Evans. We said it last week, this team is old enough to be Taylor Swift’s granddaddy. Or is it her swagdaddy? The Travis Kelce eras tour is just about at it’s end. Back to the waiver wire for the Champ.

FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN

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FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN 〰️

Jordan Davis of the Philadelphia Eagles blocks the potential game timing field goal and returns it for a Touchdown. Davis hit 18.5 mph on his sprint. RUN BIG FELLA!

Top Rookies of the Week

Highest scoring FF rookie QB, RB, and WR/TE of the week.

Have You Seen Me?

Players in the FF starting lineups who did not perform this week.

BLOCK FIELD GOALS OF THE WEEK

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BLOCK FIELD GOALS OF THE WEEK 〰️

A compilation of the Week 3 blocked field goals.

Overreaction of the Week

The San Francisco 49ers are 3-0 with two divisional wins and they are basically guaranteed at least 10 wins on the season. They play the Jaguars in Week 4 and then the Falcons, Texans, and Giants for three weeks in a row upcoming. Not to mention playing the Panthers, Browns and Bears on the final third of the season. Some of those may not pan out and the dog days of the season will tell a different story, but the opportunity is there. The Niners have two wins with Mac Jones and no George Kittle or Trent Williams. Spot the lie. A playoff berth is clinched at this point.

Get Russell Wilson off my screen. You know how reactive he is. He is a high high and a low low. Goal to go situations scare him. He is like my dog when I turn the vacuum cleaner on. He can’t handle himself and he tries to hide under the bed but we can all clearly see his tail sticking out. Brian Daboll is obviously a big problem and when Cam Skattebo is hot, Malik Nabers needs a play drawn for him, and you paid Darius Slayton $36 million, but you still run play action run with Ciara’s baby daddy… you’re cooked.

Around the horn:

Green Bay at Dallas Sunday Night Football next week is going to be siiiiiiick. Michah Parsons is going to be on the HUNT. Micah Parsons is going to be prowling the field like Bow Dahdi and Matt Fortney on the prowl at Stout Brothers circa 2017. Both of them looking to take down a #6 or #7.

The Colts are 3-0 and they may be in a weak division but that shit don’t matter. Racking up wins will gain confidence and that can lead to some momentum with these professional athletes. Get the Colts to the playoffs and watch them make some noise this year. After 3 weeks it’s hard to judge. I am trying to make sense of the Commanders at 2-1. I am trying to make sense of Minnesota in a really tough division but running a wild bait and switch defense. It’s all a little too confusing at the beginning of the season and so I try to look at a macro level and see who has the point differential and who has won on the road. To me, that can show which teams are legit and which teams are playing for any given Sunday.

MNF

7 sacks on Lamar Jackson and nothing to show in the second half for the Ravens. This was shaping up to be a pretty good game, but fizzled out with the Lions defense shutting down the passing game and forcing Derrick Henry to fumble. I found it to be a mix of good defense and the receivers just not getting open. I suppose that also means good defense. But what’s the deal with Zay Flowers. He is so close to being a top receiver and then spits a dud out like this every two or three games. It looks like the Lions have a lot of talent and with the bold moves from their coach and a veteran QB, that has to be the recipe for a Super Bowl, right?

Around Dubtown:

Things that could have happened since the Hammer C0cks last win on November 11, 2024 (315 days ago):

A human pregnancy takes about 280-300 days from conception.
Growing sugarcane, pineapple, and wine grapes takes around 275-300 days to grow.
A salmon life cycle from hatching to smolt is about 300 days.
Training for a marathon from scratch typically takes around 9-10 months.
A round-the-world solo sailing trip takes around 300 days to complete.
A NASA space mission to Mars have flight times of about 260-300 days.

Week 3