Week 4
EXCITING WHITES!
No, not Reed Blankenship and Cooper DeJean - we are talking about Cam Skattebo and Jaxson Dart! Headband, turtle neck, and chain is the recipe for a win in New York and Jaxson Dart is looking like a neo-Jim McMahon. But we can still show some love to the white boys in Philly as they do their best to prove that a nickel corner is still a skill position. Week 4 brought some RB1 action with Ashton Jeanty, Bucky Irving, Quinshon Judkins, Kenneth Gainwell, Bijan Robinson, Omarion Hampton, and Josh Jacobs all going off for big games. Unfortunately, the big play makers couldn’t muster up a victory for their teams and only Bijan Robinson and Kenneth Gainwell walked away with wins out of that group. The Buffalo Bills beat up on the Saints and Spencer Rattler with James Cook leading the way and proving why he deserved his big payday. Ireland was rocking and the fans got a good one in the early hours for a Steelers win over Carson Wentz and the Vikings.
Matthew Stafford is the 5th QB since at least 1950 to reach 50 game-winning drives in a career, joining Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees and Big Ben. Stafford says he’s a fucking dog and at this point, it’s unavoidable that we need to talk HOF for this guy. Talk about exciting whites!
Week 3 BUMMERS
AJ Brown wants out of Philadelphia despite getting 9 targets to lead the Eagles on the day. The Eagles did not complete a pass in the second half against the Buccaneers although still getting a win on the road. Malik Nabers tore his ACL on the Metlife turf and it seems that the concert series at the stadium is more important than the safety of the athletes. David Montgomery took 9 carries for 12 yards to average 1.3 yards per carry and absolutely torched the hopes of fantasy owners that were expecting a repeat performance from Week 3 MNF. Pro-bowl DT Nnamdi Madubuike was lost for the season for the Ravens and they fall to 1-3 on the season. Joe Alt gets carted off with a high ankle sprain and Tyreek Hill is done for the season. Sheesh. Can we catch a break?
The Titans get shutout by a weak Texans team and got lit up by Woody Marks, the 4th round pick out of USC. Woody Marks’ real name is Jo’Quavious Dequane Marks. Would you rather get lit up by a guy named Woody or a guy named Jo’Quavious? I guess it’s both in this case.
Matchup of the Week
Big C*ck Brock puts up big numbers despite the relatively slow start from the namesake player Brock Bowers. Devon Achane caps off what Bijan Robinson started with 99 yards and 1 TD on MNF. DK Metcalf runs as fast as he can on an 80-yard TD in Ireland like he is running from his most recent one night stand. The anchor of this team is without a doubt the Kicker Joshua Karty with 10.9 FF points. Mix in Cam Skattebo and Justin Fields and this team has themselves a sweet win to stay undefeated.
Port my Ash takes a tough L. It’s never easy to score as much and still lose. Tyreek Hill goes down and out for the year, plus Terry McLaurin having injury issues and this team was in need of this win. Starting two TE’s did not pan out, however a big break out game from Ashton Jeanty is promising. Now with Malik Nabers out, Wandale Robinson is also looking a lot more attractive. Hit the pile, keep driving your legs, and get the first down - it’s the only way to keep fighting.
REDRAFT
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REDRAFT 〰️
Let’s take a look at the lay of the land after 4 weeks and how it compares to draft position. (DISCLAIMER - I wrote this during MNF so the numbers may be slightly off following both Monday games.)
ROUND 1: Brian Thomas Jr.
11th overall pick (sixth WR)
WR 43 after 4 weeks
ROUND 2: Chase Brown
18th overall pick (9th RB)
RB 42 after 4 weeks
ROUND 2: AJ Brown
21st overall pick (10th WR)
WR 45 after 4 weeks
ROUND 3: Ladd McConkey
29th overall pick (12th WR)
WR 56 after 4 weeks
ROUND 5: Kenneth Walker III
50th overall pick (19th RB)
RB 11 after 4 weeks
ROUND 6: Emeka Egbuka
70th overall pick (32nd WR)
WR 6 after 4 weeks
ROUND 8: Javonte Williams
85th overall pick (32nd RB)
RB 6 after 4 weeks
ROUND 9: Travis Etienne Jr.
96th overall (36th RB)
RB 8 after 4 weeks
ROUND 11: Keenan Allen
126th overall pick (51st WR)
WR 12 after 4 weeks
Top Rookies of the Week
Highest scoring FF rookie QB, RB, and WR/TE of the week.
Jaxson Dart - 19.84 points
Omarion Hampton - 27.0 points
Emeka Egbuka - 20.1 point
Have You Seen Me?
Players in the FF starting lineups who did not perform this week.
David Montgomery - 1.2 points
Ladd McConkey - 1.6 points
AJ Brown - 1.7 points
GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK
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GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK 〰️
Texans rookie RB Woody Marks pancakes a defender in pass protection! Gets my dick hard!
WHY HE DO THAT? OF THE WEEK
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WHY HE DO THAT? OF THE WEEK 〰️
Fred Warner tries to take out Trevor Lawrence on the kneel down. Why he do that?
Overreaction of the Week
The Pittsburgh Steelers are FAKERS! Pretenders! They have a negative point differential for fucks sake. Aaron can keep faking his vaccination status but he isn’t fooling anyone especially when he chooses to sit out on the Tush Push. Baker Mayfield would never…
The Niners need to get healthy, the Raiders are struggling at the QB position and need to get Brock Bowers the football, and the Ravens are struggling hardcore. The Cowboys and Packers both actually look pretty good even though they battled to a tie. I think the Packers are probably the favorite to win it all and the Cowboys are not as bad as 1-2-1. The Broncos beating up on a really bad Jake Browning doesn’t really tell us much yet but I still love Bo Nix and they have good coaching which will at least get them to the playoffs. Right now I truly believe that the NFC West is the best division in the league. I hate to think that the Seahawks have hopes and dreams for the first time in ten years.
The Jacksonville Jaguars have a shot! I told you all to bet on Liam Coen for coach of the year. It’s not just coaching or quarterbacking either - they actually have a defense this year too. The Chiefs, Seahawks, and Rams in the next three weeks is going to be a really big test though. I would say that if they go 2-1 in these upcoming weeks then we need to consider them a contender. 2 games at home and 1 game is London. Fuck it! DUUUVAALLLLL!
Around Dubtown:
Spread Eagles don’t even need to set a lineup and he is still sitting pretty at 3-1. We’re on that island time, brada. No problem. The Tax Man is knocking on the door and trying to slide his way into VIP but we know he is going to get stopped by the bouncer and ID’d before the red rope. Big C*ck Brock is back in the driver’s seat at 4-0, despite making a worse trade than Luka for Anthony Davis. Kirby can have a sense of SECURITY knowing that For Kyren out Loud is always going to be two doors down whenever things get scary and knowing that Night Trayn is never going to fire him or take over his spot on the FF standings board. Ken You Dig It? Ass. Port my Ash. Ass. Empty Backfield. Injured and ass. The Hammer C0cks. Daddy Yankee - Culo!
My team has been so up and down, I don’t even know what to think anymore. Every year I struggle with sticking in there and playing the guys that may just be having a slow start versus ripping the bandaid off and dumping some of the guys who are just obviously not going to repeat what they did last year. Is Brian Thomas Jr. done? Is Ladd McConkey WR 3 for good now? Do you start playing the matchups already in Week 5? Its hard to tell and then there are also the tough loses that you can take by playing one of the top point getters on the Week. Every year I say that you need to spend your FAAB money early and often and that you can’t give up on the rookies or second year players before Week 7 - and every single year I hold onto my FAAB money and I dump the rookies too early. I still think half of this shit is just luck.
