MEOW!

Here kitty, kitty, kitty! TAKE IT TO THE HOUSE GIBBY! The Big Cats overcome a Jameis Winston game from Brian Daboll’s nightmares to win in overtime and put up a game of the week candidate in Detroit! Jahmyr Gibbs had 219 and 2 on the ground and 45 and 1 in receiving on the day. Gibbs and the Lions have a little bit of fight in them this year and overcome an early deficit. Somewhere on a college campus quad, Nick Saban in smirking at Gibbs, Brian Branch, and Jameson Williams with every punch being thrown!

JSN now has the most receiving yards in a season in Seahawks franchise history! Who could’ve thought?! Talking about all time bad trades George Pickens was traded from the Steelers for some draft picks and then the Steelers bet $33M on DK Metcalf. George Pickens now has 67 catches for 1,054 yards where as all of the Steelers receivers combined have 84 catches for 1,082 yards! The Steelers played a decent game, but the Bears get the win to move to 8-3 on the year.

Shedeur wins, the Patriots are 10-2, the Packers get a divisional win, the Chiefs win in OT, and we get 24 points unanswered from the Cowboys over the Eagles! Major league choke job from Sirianni and the Birds with a goose egg in the second half of the game!

The 49ers take MNF to the next level and overcome 3 INTs from Brock Purdy who is much much better than Geno Smith ever was. CMC is one of a kind and is looking like the best running back in SF history.

Week 12 BUMMERS

The Giants are officially the first NFL team eliminated from playoff contention and they fire their DC Shane Bowen, The NFL has found its Justin Jefferson stopper and his name is NINE! JJ is now averaging 53 yards with JJ McCarthy versus 90 with Sam Darnold and 99 per game with Kirk Cousins. He even averaged 80 yards per game with Nick Mullens.

Baker Mayfield - AC joint sprain.

Will Campbell - MCL sprain.

Chip Kelly - Fired.

Aaron Rodgers - Tripping on pain killers.

Justin Tucker - Trying out.

Matchup of the Week

Spread Eagles started off slow on TNF but they ride the coattails of the huge Jahmyr Gibbs game to the high point of the week in Dubtown FF. AJ Brown bounced back from two tough games in a row to find the endzone and to total over 100 yard receiving. 18.0 points from the Packers D/ST that put the belt to ass on the Vikings and Nine. Very balanced showing from the Spread Eagles this week with Kicker Tyler Loop hitting three field goals as well, but that is all it takes when Gibbs puts up 53.9 FF points. Reyes will get Swag Dahdi and La Llama Roja in the final two weeks of the season and is a lock for the playoffs. The Rome Oduzne trade is looking iffy at best, but if this team can keep getting the solid WR output and Josh Allen bounces back, they will be making some noise in the next few weeks.

Woody Marks? Never heard of him. Jameson Williams? You mean the triple distilled whiskey? Dak Prescott puts up come big points and Kareem Hunt has his best game of the year but it’s not enough for Titletown Turtles to beat a playoff team. Emeka Egbuka was a bust in the second half of the season to this point and it’s hurting this FF team. Chase Brown bounces back a little bit too late for FF and for the Bengals. Better luck next year.

KENNY FINDS OUT

〰️

KENNY FINDS OUT 〰️

CASE FILE: The Removal of the Commish

An investigative report by the League Detective Bureau.

Something went down in the group chat this weekend. Something dark. Something deliberate. Someone — or multiple someones — conspired to remove our beloved Commissioner from the Dubtown League Chat.

To uncover the culprit, we must reconstruct the day with precision, motive, and a touch of paranoia.

TIMELINE OF SUSPICION

10:25 AM — The Day Begins
Bowman sends the first message of the day. An early riser… or an early schemer?

10:48 AM — Lowe Strikes
Lowe fires off his obligatory JSN joke. A joke he still finds funny. A pattern emerges: he distracts, he jokes, he blends into the noise. Classic misdirection technique.

11:49 AM — Daniel Arrives
Daniel sends his first message. His only message for over 24 hours. Where does he disappear to? Bowman claims in the snow of Tahoe, but there is not snow in Tahoe currently. No alibi provided. Suspicious.

11:59 AM — Kirby Waves the White Flag
Kirby concedes Week 12 to me. A quick surrender. Quick… perhaps too quick.

12:38 PM — Wyatt Appears
Wyatt strolls into the conversation. Late arrival. Unclear motive.

12:52 PM — Lowe Again
Another JSN joke from Lowe. Repetition… or establishing a pattern to hide ulterior motives?

2:12 PM — A Heated Exchange
Wyatt and Bowman trade must-win comments. Two men under pressure. Pressure creates cracks. Cracks create opportunities.

2:20 PM — An Accusation
Wyatt claims Tony “sold his soul” last week for the win. A bold statement — or was it a deflection?

2:22 PM — The Purge Begins
Wyatt is removed.

2:24 PM — Wyatt is added back.

2:25 PM — Wyatt is removed again.

2:29 PM — Wyatt returns once more.

Someone is toying with him. Someone with power. Someone with intention.

2:33 PM — Kenny Falls
Kenny is removed. A shock to the system — the league’s moral compass disturbed.

2:39 PM — Kenny returns.

2:44 PM — Tony is removed.

2:47 PM — Tony is added back.

Three men. All removed. All reinstated. A pattern of chaos meant to mask a larger, more sinister act:
the removal of the Commissioner himself.

PRIMARY SUSPECTS & EVIDENCE

Daniel — The Silent One

No texts in 24 hours. Radio silence followed by sudden reappearance. Classic “blend in after the crime” move.
SUSPICIOUS.

Bowman — The Man With No Alibi

Claims he wasn’t at a casino. Then implies he’s at the Raiders game. But in truth, he was at neither. His whereabouts remain a mystery — and so does his innocence.
DEEPLY SUSPICIOUS.

Kenny — The Innocent Bystander

Too invested in league stability to remove anyone, including himself. A victim, not a perpetrator.
NOT SUSPICIOUS.

Wyatt — The Desperate Competitor

Near the bottom of the standings, staging his own exit could be a poetic way out. A man with nothing to lose is a man to fear.
SUSPICIOUS.

Lowe — The Repeat Offender

Has a documented history of group-chat removals. Motive? Opportunity? A JSN-based cover story?
EXTREMELY SUSPICIOUS.

CONCLUSION (UNDER REVIEW)

The culprit is still at large.
The motives are unclear.
But someone — someone in this league — removed the Commish.

GOOD RIDDANCE

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GOOD RIDDANCE 〰️

Please join me in saying goodbye to the latest team eliminated from the 2025 Dubtown FF season.

The Hammer C0cks

DRAFTED ROSTER:

7th Pick - CeeDee Lamb Dal, WR
18th Pick -Chase Brown Cin, RB
31st Pick - Trey McBride Ari, TE
42nd Pick - Jameson Williams Det, WR
55th Pick - Tony Pollard Ten, RB
66th Pick - RJ Harvey Den, RB
79th Pick - Rome Odunze Chi, WR
90th Pick - Dak Prescott Dal, QB
103rd Pick - Austin Ekeler Wsh, RB
114th Pick - Broncos D/ST Den, D/ST
127th Pick - Cameron Dicker LAC, K
138th Pick - Tyjae Spears Ten, RB
151st Pick - Marvin Mims Jr. Den, WR

FINAL ROSTER:

Dak Prescott - QB6
Chase Brown - RB16
Woody Marks - RB29
Emeka Egbuka - WR8
Jameson WIlliams - WR28
Trey McBride - TE1
Kareem Hunt - WR25
Rams - D/ST4
Cam Little - K11
Cameron Dicker - K2
Romeo Doubs - WR33
Troy Franklin - WR27
Kimani Vidal- RB38

Top Rookies of the Week

Highest scoring FF rookie QB, RB, and WR/TE of the week.

Have You Seen Me?

Players in the FF starting lineups who did not perform this week.

GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK

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GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK 〰️

Gunner Olszewski throws TD to Jameis Winston for the touchdown of a lifetime! Gets my dick hard!

FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN

〰️

FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN 〰️

Arizona Cardinals DL Walter Nolen III get the fumbleception and he sticks his arm across the goal line for the FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN!

Overreaction of the Week

What’s wrong with the Ravens? Or is it just Lamar? He must be playing hurt, right? Maybe he just needs to take a shit again… Even in a win, the Ravens are not scaring anyone right now like they used to. Going from 1-5 to 6-5 and leading the AFC North sounds pretty impressive, but still I am just not convinced. I am convinced that the Rams are going to the Super Bowl though. A Rams vs. Patriots Super Bowl sounds so 2018-2019.

The Eagles are going to be fine. The Bucs are going to be fine. The Bills are going to be fine. It’s all fine! The Eagles have been dealing with diva WR since Mark Wahlberg was picking up garbage in Philly and he walked on to try out for the team. Look at Rocky, he’s got cancer and he is still fine too!

Around Dubtown:

EVERYONE IS 8-4! What’s going to happen now? Here are the 8-4 teams and their schedule ROS:

Swag Dahdi: Week 13 - Spread Eagles (8-4) and Week 14 - Ken You Dig It? (5-7)

B1G C0*K BROCK: Week 13 - Pearsall My Holes (7-5) and Week 14 - I Think I Pulled McCaf (7-5)

Spread Eagles: Week 13 - Swag Dadhi (8-4) and Week 14 - La Llama Roja (3-9)

For Kyren Out Loud: Week 13 - I Think I Pulled McCaf (7-5) and Week 14 - Port My Ash (2-10)

Week 12