Week 1
59! 59! 59!
The NFC North put up BIG points in week 1 led by Caleb Williams and the Bears as they totaled 552 yards and 59 points on Sunday. Swift and Monangai both go over 100 yards to beat the Panthers, while Justin Jefferson and Amon-Ra St. Brown both scored twice to knock off the Green Bay Packers and the New Orleans Saints respectively. There may be some hope for Chicago in one last hoorah before moving to Indiana! Kyler Murray gets knocked out worse than Conor Benn and Tua Tagoviloa combined, but Carson Wentz showed up for the Vikings like a true veteran.
Derrick Henry and D’Andre Swift score 3 TD’s a piece in Week 1 and they were the top of a long list of multiple TD scorers across the league.
Players with 2 receiving touchdowns:
Jalen Coker (Carolina Panthers)
Dallas Goedert (Philadelphia Eagles)
Christian Watson (Green Bay Packers)
Amon-Ra St. Brown (Detroit Lions)
Ashton Jeanty (Las Vegas Raiders)
Justin Jefferson (Minnesota Vikings)
Isaiah Likely (New York Giants)
Players with 2 rushing touchdowns:
Josh Allen (Buffalo Bills)
David Montgomery (Houston Texans)
Jahmyr Gibbs (Detroit Lions)
Caleb Williams (Chicago Bears)
Jonathan Taylor (Indianapolis Colts)
Kenny Dub III gets 173 and a pair of scores to earn the most rushing yards for a RB under Patrick Mahomes. Mark K9 under the two TD scorers list as well as Bijan Robinson!
The 49ers win Down Unda and Deebo is back! The Seahawks score 10 points in the fourth quarter for the comeback win! The Cardinals shock the world and beat the Chargers and Harbaugh/McDaniel! All of these teams coming out of the NFC West are impressive! Easily the top conference in the league year in and year out.
Other big winners of the week: JSN, Watson, Lawrence, Hubbard, McBride, Young, and Olave.
Week 1 Bummers
Drake Maye’s yearbook photo after his last two NFL games.
Deshaun Watson and Bo Nix both get picked off on the first drive of the season, Myles Garrett is going to miss some time, AJ Brown is out 6 weeks, and the Lions had one of the worst wins I’ve ever seen.
The Titans:
The Browns:
Cooper Rush:
Bill Belichick:
Matchup of the Week
Kirby Had A Little Lamb - 127.65
The Kirbys on the bus go ‘round and ‘round! I think this is the song playing in Jaxson Dart’s head at all times of day. 230/3 from Dart on SNF plus another 50 in rushing yards to give the Little Lambs the Week 1 MOTW victory. Multi TD games from Goedert and from Watson held this FF team up while the rest of the squad was sub-par. When Brock Bowers returns, there may be a TE competition in this locker room or we may see a double TE lineup. Kirby has been known to make some ridiculous moves in this league and I wouldn’t put anything past him at this point. We look to the Bay Alarm Bowl next week as the Lambs go to church for an exorcism to remove the demons and succubus from Drake Maye.
Autodrafters Anonymous - 123.10
It seems like Reyes is in the MOTW more often than not but this is a new season and Week 1 with no Jahmyr Gibbs to save him this year. Who needs Jahmyr Gibbs when you have Ashton Jeanty?! 30+ from the big fella, and the RB got a ton of production out of the backfield for the Raiders. Puka Nacua under produced to start the week and things looked down for the AA’s before the touchdowns started scoring on Sunday. Still not quite enough to outlast the Little Lambs. The Titans D/ST will need to be re-evaluated next week though, and with the new kicker scoring it looks like Brandon Aubrey has become obsolete. Way to really SHOW UP this week, man.
Bowman Breaks It Down
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Bowman Breaks It Down x
Madden style play break down from Swag Dahdi.
Top Rookies of the Week
Highest scoring FF rookie QB, RB, and WR/TE of the week.
QB:
No rookie QB’s this week.
RB:
Jeremiyah Love - 12.0 points
WR/TE:
Antonio Williams - 14.4 points
Bad Starts of the Week
Players in the FF starting lineups who did not perform this week.
VIEJO ROJO
Colston Loveland - 0.0 points
Tuten N Bootin’
Kyle Pitts Sr. - 0.0 points
Trailer Park Boys
Ja’Marr Chase - 2.2 points
GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK
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GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK 〰️
Tyler Owens sets up as a gunner against the double team and puts two players on their backs before power bombing Britain Covey! Tyler Owens is listed at 6’2” and 215 lbs. At the 2024 combine he measured a 12 foot 2 inch broad jump (2nd best in combine history) and a 41 inch vertical leap. GMDH!
WAG OF THE WEEK
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WAG OF THE WEEK 〰️
WAG of the week goes to Madison Beer. You go girl!
Overreaction of the Week
Who looked good? Who passed the eye test? How can I overreact to a small 1 week sample size? Joe Burrow, Chase Brown, and the Bengals throttling Baker and the Bucs was fun to watch. Maybe participation in the preseason actually matters. Seeing the Bengals start the season fast is refreshing and Joe Burrow deserves the Week 1 victory.
Ashton Jeanty looked NICE - no doubt about that. Jacksonville handled their business in a game they were destined to win, but they did it in a way that looked like they really are a contender. Zay Flowers and Lamar Jackson were extremely exciting and I really hope Flowers isn’t going to have a 4-6 week hamstring injury because the Ravens are going to be contenders at this rate. The Packers will be fine if they can protect Jordan Love. The 49ers are the biggest question mark because they “dIdNT dO iT iN AmEriCa” - but beating the Rams the way they did gives me nothing but confidence.
I’m not quite sure what to make of the Chargers. I still think they have a good team, but they were getting picked apart on defense and their offense was dull. Philly had a questionable win, Detroit gave up a lead, and New England can’t seem to assert themselves as top dogs. All in all, most of my hot takes from last week fell flat.
Time will tell.
Around Dubtown:
Drafting the top QB/WR stack is genius! Editor-In-Chief is making big brain plays by stacking Josh Allen and DJ Moore. Mix in a little bit of Bijan Robinson in there and it’s a recipe for a 49ers jersey paid for by the league at the end of the year! YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY THINK I WOULD GO THROUGH THIS WHOLE BLOG WITHOUT BRAGGING ABOUT THE BILLS, DID YOU?! Let Jadarian Price loose off the leash and the league is going to have a PROBLEM on their hands!
156+ from Romo Was My Ride even with a dud from Justin Herbert. That’s our reigning champion and he’s already been kicked out of the group chat! From top to bottom, the draft served this guy well and he got production out of everyone this week. Let’s see if there is any sustainability.
The proxies went 1-1 to start the season. Autodrafters Anonymous was the high point in a loss this week, although Kirby may have conceded. I wonder if half of this league even knew what ‘proxy’ meant before last week.