Week 3
SILVER AND BLACK
From Napa to NOLA, Brock Bowers makes it out onto the field for his season debut and there are absolutely no disappointments from the third year baller out of UGA. 116 yards and 1 TD accounted for almost half of the production out of Kirko Chainz this weekend and it was enough to take on Tyler Shough and a hot offensive minded Saints team on the road. The Raiders defense was just as good as the offense this week and was led by Nakobe Dean, Jeremy Chinn and the rookie Zeke Masses who now has 3 INT on the year. Tack on almost 150 yards of punting to give your team better field position and you’re going to be happy with the results. The Raiders go to 3-0 to start the year and head into a matchup with Pat Mahomes in Week 4.
The Ravens walk it off in Rio, the refs are working for the Broncos, and the 49ers don’t even need receptions to score! The Jaguars are the real deal and the Vikings trade away JJ McCarthy and his bad ju-ju. Liam Coen is the fastest head coach to reach 15 wins in organization history and first coach since LaFleur to win 15 of his first 20 games.
The 49ers showing a little bit of razzle dazzle to take down the NFC West opponent Cardinals and start 3-0 even with injury after injury. Trent Williams will still just throw up the double birds and laugh in your face anyway.
In Brazil they think that a Cowboy is a Big Mac burger and they couldn’t care less about whatever a Raven is supposed to be. Isn’t a Raven just a crow? Or a street smart seagull? Jerry Jones is to street smarts as Wyatt North is to Matthew Berry. Just wait until Jerry Jones finds out that they speak Portuguese in Brazil. God forbid someone tell him that they speak French in Africa.
Week 1 Bummers
They ain’t used to this shit at Lambeau - Welcome to the Dark Ages, cheese freaks. Offensive line? Nope. Defensive line? Nah. Running back? No way, Jose. The Packers are in a bad way and they finish with just 17 rushing yards - their lowest in a game since 2000. And something tells me that was in a snow blizzard game where the total offense was about 100 yards. Somethings gotta give.
Drake Maye finished 14 of 25 on Sunday for 199 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT, and a lost fumble. He has six INT and just 1 TD this year.
Matchup of the Week
Zero Gibbs Given - 118.28
Jahmyr saves the season! This team is lucky to get a MOTW after a disastrous TNF start to the week and an absurd declaration of being “the best fucking team is this league”. But sure enough, its Kyren Williams at the end of the game to get Zero Gibbs Given slightly past Swag Dahdi for the first win of the season. Joey Burrow continues his good start to the year and adds another 3 TD in a losing effort to the Steelers, but it adds to the FF scoreboard anyway. BTJ and QJ get left on the bench in a good coaching move this week and likely next week too. This team is now 8-23 since 2024, so let’s give Commish a warm welcome to the win column this year. Way to go, squirt.
Swag Dahdi - 115.84
Who would’ve thought that Jordan Love was the better QB this week over Patrick Mahomes?! A better FF QB at least…
Derrick Henry and CMC keep on chugging and looking like they aren’t a day over 40 years old. Mix Aaron Jones Sr. in and you’ve really got three Unc’s on this team. Good luck with that, Dahdi. I am sure no one will have a hip problem or an ulcer all year long.
BIG HIT OF THE WEEK
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BIG HIT OF THE WEEK x
D’Marco Jackson Puts Jalen Hurts on the ground for the BIG HIT OF THE WEEK!
Top Rookies of the Week
Highest scoring FF rookie QB, RB, and WR/TE of the week.
QB:
Jalon Daniels: -1.1 points (YIKES)
RB:
Jeremiyah Love - 19.4 points
WR/TE:
Kenyon Sadiq - 21.0 points
Bad Starts of the Week
Players in the FF starting lineups who did not perform this week.
Editor-In -Chief
Jadarian Price - 0.7 points
Romo Was My Ride
Isaiah Likely - 2.3 points
Tuten N Bootin’
Tetairoa McMillan - 2.7 points
GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK
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GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK 〰️
Brock Purdy as an MVP candidate! GMD!
WHY HE KEEP DOIN' THAT?
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WHY HE KEEP DOIN' THAT? 〰️
Someone tell Caleb Williams to stop doin’ that. Why he keep doin’ that? That shit’s weird, bro.
Overreaction of the Week
Tampa’s season is over and so is the Chargers season. My Week 0 predictions are slowly starting to shake out (minus LA) with the Jaguars and Saints having high powered offenses and Todd Bowles is going to be the first coach fired this year. Detroit seems like the worst 2-1 team in the league so far, and the Rams might be the best 1-2 team in the league.
So far, everything is coming up Red and Gold!
Around Dubtown:
The scores are all quite low this year around the league. Injuries left and right and nothing on waivers to boot. Everyone sits right around at 100 each week. What gives? The top 3 kickers in league are at 21, 21, and 22 FF points on the year, after 3 weeks. I mean come on. This is fantasy football not ancient Egyptian, we don’t need to complicate this. I suppose to some of us, reading our own language is difficult enough and Chat GPT doesn’t always give them correct advise, so maybe FF is just a bit of struggle. But we can keep our egos in check for the good of the league, I’d like to think. And that’s coming from the guy who writes the gossip column. So who’s who in this situation?
I digress - Swag Dahdi still runs the league IMO. With Trailer Park Boys pushing through the layer of Proxy in his face. Although, Trailer Park Boys have only had to make 2 roster moves so far. Compare that to the 8 moves from A,B,C Deez Lambs who attends the draft every year. Not entirely sure what the point is there, but I think it has to do with Kirby being toward the top again. Maye God Have Mercy is probably looking for a new QB at this point, but it really hasn’t mattered at all. Put Traynor up there with the big dawgs!
Editor-In-Chief can’t finish a game and might want to just play every TNF player possible for the rest of the season if there is any scoring to be done for this team. No scoring is lower than CookinProxys and VIEJO ROJO. Sheesh. And they play each other next week. One team will be 0-4 to start the season.