Week 4
CEEDEEZ NUTS!
Cowboys, Rams, Packers, and Seahawks all get wins in Week 4 despite my best efforts to jinx them all and curse their franchises. The Rams win an ugly one, the Packers win a low scoring one, but the star of the show is CeeDee Lamb! Someone get this guy a Gatorade or a Power Bar or buy him a Texas longhorn steak. Jerry should be paying Cee Dee Lamb in Cowboys stock/ownership at this point. Dak Prescott was catching fire in the second half and goes over 300 yards for the first time this year at the hands of the 0-4 Houston Texans.
George Kittle is 10 receptions away from tying Rob Gronkowski for 10th all time in TE receptions and plays a big part in the 49ers giving up 0 sacks on the year. Kittle took a 56-YD pass to the house to seal the victory over Sean Payton and Denver. Russell Wilson hates Sean Payton, Dre Greenlaw hates Sean Payton, all my homies HATE Sean Payton.
The Bears ran 89 offensive plays to the Jets 32. That’s the 3rd largest gap since the merger in 1970. Dan Campbell seems to be missing Ben Johnson, but the Lions should be more worried about their defense at this point. The Bears win and the Lions lose.
Round out the weekend with Tet McMillan and Bijan Robinson making our prime time viewing a site to see. Bryce Young is leading the league in passing so far this year and who would’ve thought that he was going to be the Alabama QB that everyone is talking about this week… (talking about in a good way that is). Bijan is second in the NFL in rushing this season, but Kenneth Walker III is top dog and already sits in the 8th best rushing season under Mahomes… IN WEEK 4!
Week 1 Bummers
Matthew Stafford and the Rams played 3 quarters of dogshit, low down, soft cock football and still managed to beat Philly on the road. Jalen Hurts can only manage to throw for 93 passing yards and the Eagles are unable to score in the second half of the football game. In comparison - Stafford had 317 YDS with 2 INT and Hurts had 93 YDS with 2 TD and gave up 4 sacks but Hurts still had a better passer rating in the game. Some Dubtown FF members would be questioning the validity of this scoring system!
Two NFL refs are being suspended for two games and one game respectively. 30 penalties in the Seahawks/Chargers games and some terrible PI/non-PI calls. Look at the NFL finally doing something!
Hospital Corner:
Lamar Jackson - Ankle injury.
Saquon Barkley - Hamstring injury (cramping).
Rashee Rice - Hamstring injury (speeding).
Ja’Marr Chase - Facemask leading to concussion.
DJ Moore - Actually scored in the positives before exiting the game.
Tyquan Thornton - Dead leg.
Terry McLaurin - Awake early enough to remove himself from the game.
Kenyon Sadiq - Not injured, just not good.
Matchup of the Week
Zero Gibbs Given - 141.42
Oh my turtles! Two MOTW in a row for the little Squirt. The Packers defense against Tampa Bay scores 10 FF points and Tucker Kraft gets into the endzone. This guy loves his Packers more than CJGJ loves getting into fights and talking shit in the media or IG live. Joe Burrow throws 54 passes and gets his highest FF total of the year even with limited receivers. Nico Collins and Kyren Williams both score twice and they both look like weapons this season. Let’s hope Nico can keep healthy and maintain active status for a significant amount of time. Jahmyr Gibbs has a measly 15 FF points and, believe it or not, has his lowest scoring game through a quarter of the NFL regular season. Pretty good. Really good actually.
Kirby Had A Little Lamb - 134.28
What more can Cee Dee do?! 17 receptions and a TD for Cee Dee Lamb, another TD from Brock Bowers, 2 scores from Eman Wilson, and 10 receptions from RJ Harvey. But still not enough points this week. Lamar Jackson exiting early was a gut punch for the Lambs.
Kirby got the performance of a lifetime from his favorite player but it wasn’t good enough this week. Some would say that it was bad coaching decisions at the TE position, but Kirby will tell you that it was the injury bug that bit him. Remember, if you get bit by a bug, or by a Midwestern woman on a cruise ship, you should probably get checked out and take a Penicillin shot.
BIG HIT OF THE WEEK
x
BIG HIT OF THE WEEK x
Jonathan Jones puts Kyren Williams on his ass for the BIG HIT OF THE WEEK!
Top Rookies of the Week
Highest scoring FF rookie QB, RB, and WR/TE of the week.
QB:
Athan Kaliakmanis: 12.04 points
RB:
Jeremiyah Love - 6.0 points
WR/TE:
Carnell Tate - 18.0 points
Bad Starts of the Week
Players in the FF starting lineups who did not perform this week.
Kirby Had A Little Lamb
Kenyon Sadiq - 0.0 points
VIEJO ROJO
Terry McLaurin - DNP
Romo Was My Ride
Parker Washington - 1.5 points
GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK
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GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK 〰️
Taron Johnson chases down KWIII to save a TD! Talk about hustle and a real football player. GMDH!
Overreaction of the Week
Raiders fan are happy with a loss to their biggest rival in the AFC West. Giving up 20 points in the 4th quarter is less than ideal, but no hate from me this week (truthfully). Adding Tyreek Hill to the WR room might be critical at this point if the Raiders want to keep up their reputation of employing honorable men.
I couldn’t have been more wrong about the Chargers and the idiot jazz that they are conducting in LA. At least I didn’t say that Justin Herbert was going to go down as the greatest QB in NFL history. I’ve always been good looking but not very smart, and even I knew that was dumb.
The Giants have a real chance at the NFC East! I mean c’mon that walk out pick-6 was fucking electric. It’s about damn time though and they play Washington next week. They could really separate themselves with another win. Shit, even Cleveland is 3-1, but I wouldn’t go as far to say that they have a shot at the AFC North. To me, the NFC North is going to be the interesting one to watch. I can still see anyone taking that division… even green Bay!
Around Dubtown:
It was trade week in Dubtown FF League this week!
Kirby Had A Little Lamb receives: Lamar Jackson
Cookin’ Proxys receives: Deebo Samuel and DK Metcalf
Here’s how it shook out:
Lamar - 18.88 FF points, injured
Deebo - 15.5 FF pts
DK - 15.0 FF pts
JSN Your Face receives: Bijan Robinson and Jadarian Price
Editor In Chief receives: George Kittle, Javonte Williams, and Jalen Coker.
Here’s how it shook out:
Bijan - xx FF pts
Jadarian - DNP, IR
Kittle - 16.0 FF pts
Javonte - 28.8 FF pts
Coker - DNP
…
“BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LEAGUE, KEN?! Everyone wants to know who you like in Dubtown FF League. Tell us, Ken!”- people asked. Okay I’ll tell you what I think.
JSN Your Face = New favorite?
Trailer Park Boys = Always knockin’ on the door but never being let in.
Romo Was My Ride = Best of the worst.
Blitz All Night = Worst of the best.
VIEJO ROJO = I am glad you keep trying.
Editor-In-Chief = All type, no hype.
A look into next week:
Red vs. Coach for the battle of two kids that peaked in 8th grade Windsor Knights.
EIC vs. Commish for the battle of how long until Ken gets removed from the group chat.
Squid vs. Night Trayn for the battle of who can be more polite and say good luck first.
…
Editor’s Note: Squarespace is saying that I am out of storage so I may have to delete some old blogs or at least some video space. Unsure. Probably for the best to erase any paper trail of this non sense anyway. Standby.